Are you a fucktard?

Fucktard-2Body image is such a big topic these days, you just can’t escape it.  There are articles on how to dress your body, how to love the skin you’re in, and how to get the “perfect” body (another blog post on this topic is coming, just wait for it).  

Social Media is loaded with images of people of all shapes, sizes, and ethnicities flaunting and celebrating what their ancestors, the gym, or their surgeons gave them.  Myself included, sans surgeon.  It’s like everyone’s body parts are just IN YOUR FACE.  Mostly because we walk around all day with our eyes locked on our phones…literally.  For those playing that new Pokemon game, please look up for time to time, especially while driving or walking. 

There are so many ways to artistically or ratchetly (I think I just made up a word y’all) conceal or flaunt what you have and I am totally here for all of it!!!  Body hair, small lopsided boobies, pregnancy bellies, fleshy curves, stretch marks, muffin tops, and everything else in between.  I am totally here for anyone celebrating and adorning the body they love and live in.

Now because some people just refuse to mind their mutha fucking business and utilize the scroll function on their smartphones.  We have what I disgustingly refer to as fucktards more commonly known as trolls.  In the words of Aunty Jenifer, Aunty Roz, and Cousin Brandy, “I don’t want nobody fucking with me in these streets because ain’t nobody got time for that SHIT!” 

Screen Shot 2016-05-07 at 8.11.56 PMWell, technically, this is not the exact quote but you get the point.

We are supposed to support each other. Yet, every time an image is placed on the internet, not only do you have to assume it is there forever, but you have to assume that everybody is going give you their unsolicited opinions, thoughts, concerns, insights, or psychological evaluations.  Just like an asshole, everyone’s got one, and you will be subjected to their shitty ass input whether or not you actually give a shit, or asked.  

breastfeeding-at-graduation-featA mother posts a photo breastfeeding her child and the world catches an attitude.

stretch-mark-picture-viral-Facebook-2A mother posts a photo showing her stretch marks after giving birth and it’s an issue.

With all the progress we’ve made in the body image arena, why do some people still choose to be hateful and try to police the actions of a stranger on the internet?  Why are we still tearing each other down for the natural changes our bodies go through?  This shit is getting so out of control women can no longer discharge in peace without some fucktard saying it is nasty.  Literally.  The latest internet shaming trend is called the #PantyChallege and it is stupid as fuck.  Women are being shamed by other fucking women for a perfectly natural vaginal function.  I personally believe this behavior is disgusting and dangerous, especially when coming from other women. 

People have one body and they have the right to do what they please.  If you don’t like it, scroll past that shit.  Look away.  Don’t share it.  Don’t exploit it.  Don’t be a fucktard.  Once again MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS.  If it’s you and you didn’t put it up there, then that is an entirely different issue!!  But if it ain’t you, then it ain’t about you.  If you see something that violated girl code, go ahead and remove it or flag it for the website to handle.  But otherwise, just let people live THIER lives.  So the next time you fix you mouth or fingers to type some fuckery ask yourselves two questions:

  1. Why does this image make me feel some kind of way?
  2. Why haven’t I scrolled past this image and continued on with my day?

Xoxo,

Ashley

Woman in My Mirror

mirrormirror

I used to avoid looking at myself in the mirror.

Why? Because I was ugly.  At least, I felt like I was.  Every time I looked at myself in the mirror I saw cystic acne, enlarged pores, crazy eyebrows and sad eyes hidden behind prescription glasses.  And this was just how I felt about my face!

I hated looking at my naked body because I would have to face my small saggy boobs, the stretch marks spanned across my tummy and thighs like a maple tree, and my c-section scar, which leads to a wrinkly pouch of skin that has seen better days.  I hated looking at my body because, in my eyes it was not beautiful, it was ruined.

I turned thirty June 28 (#teamcancer)  and now I understand what it means to “love the skin your in”.

Let that sink in.

I am thirty year old, mother of two, who just learned how to love her body.  Kinda pathetic, I know, but better late than never. Earlier this year, I stumbled across a quote that made me think:

“As a child, I never heard one woman say to me, ‘I love my body.’  Not my mother, my elder sister, my best friend.  No woman has ever said, ‘I am so proud of my body.’  So I make sure to say it to Mia, because a positive physical outlook has to start at an early age. “

    -Kate Winslet

I realized my mother never told me she loved her body.  I also realized I never told my daughter I loved my body, because frankly, I didn’t.  This was the day I decided it was time to change.  After almost two decades of hating my body, it was time to try something different.  I needed to be proud of my entire body, including the ugly, wrinkled parts.  Plus, this body has done some pretty incredible things, like, produce life, twice!  I need to have a positive body image, if not for me, for my daughter.  My Kennedy.  My muse for this personal movement.

Now when I looked at myself in the mirror I see a beautiful woman.  Sad, thing is that she was there the entire time, patiently waiting to be noticed.

What reflection do you see when you look in the mirror?

-XO